Goucher Eats: What your fridge says about you

Kathryn Walker
Co-Features Editor

My family has a long-standing belief that food has the super-ability to last way beyond its expiration date.  The numbers, dashes, and dates printed on the sides or caps of containers and boxes do not deter our forks, knives, and fingers from diving and scooping into ice cream or yogurt containers a few weeks past their prime.  Thanksgiving and Christmas leftovers last for at least two weeks, birthday cake until it’s devoured.  Driven either by Puritanical thrift, “temporary” blindness, or plain old laziness, my family’s collection of expired food is finely exhibited in our see-through fridge, a repository of cold-cuts tinted with mold.
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What’s Wrong With Being Lady-Like?

Emily Keyes
Sports Editor

Women’s History Month, which just finished its annual March run, has only been around since the 1980s. It was International Women’s Day first, and then Women’s History Week, until Congress decided that, like Beyonce belts out in her song “Run the World (Girls),” girls do in fact run the world, therefore, there should probably be a month dedicated to the mothers of mankind.

They celebrate it in Australia, Canada, and the US. Each year and each country has a theme; in the past, it has been “Women’s Education- Women’s Empowerment” and “Women in the Business of Food” in the US and Australia, respectively. I had no idea about any of this information until I started researching for this article.

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The Importance of Hydration as a Student Athlete: What does your pee mean?

Emily Keyes
Sports Editor

This article is not for the easily disgusted; I am going to talk about urine. And I am not just going to mention it in passing, either; there is going to be discussion of its color and the subsequent meaning. Have you ever gone to pee on a particularly warm day and been a little shocked at the color you see when you look down? No? Well, get used to the idea of having an intimate relationship with the yellow stuff, because it’s the key to knowing your hydration levels, which are pretty imperative to that life goal of survival. What it all boils down to is the following; really light and really dark colors equal bad. Drinking water during physical activity is essential, but as your mama always says, too much of a good thing is, in fact, a bad thing. Drinking more than two cups of water an hour overhydrates your body, causing its salt levels to become diluted. This causes hyponatremia, which can lead to dizziness, confusion, and brain swelling, things you don’t really want to deal with after a hard practice, run, or game. Should your pee be the happy color of summertime lemonade, you are doing what you should. If it’s almost as clear as the water you have been chugging consecutively for the past four hours, put down the Nalgene for a while so your brain doesn’t swell and start to look like one of those weird anatomy experiments the Hopkins kids do.

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French Students Light Fires in Hearts as Well as on Stage

Emily Keyes
Sports Editor

My French, to put it nicely, is on the same level as that of a three-year-old Parisian child. You might be asking, then, why last Friday night I decided to sit through three and a half hours of Autour d’Albert Camus, a play comprised of scenes from La Malentendu, Les Justes, and Caligula, three plays by Albert Camus. The answer: French men. This was what initially drew me to the play, because even if I could only understand every fifth sentence, at least I could stare into the foreign eyes of a man who has probably eaten more baguettes in one week than I will eat in a lifetime.  Read more of this post

The First Lady and I… and Our Bangs

Emily Keyes
Sports Editor

Michelle Obama stole my bangs.  

Well, technically speaking, she and I were both influenced by thousands of years of hairstyles and happened to pick the same one to debut within 24 hours of each other. 

Fun historical fact: Bangs have been around for as long as the Egyptian pyramids. Cleopatra was the first iconic figure of fringe, sporting blunt bangs with her dark auburn hair (yes, she was a ginger!!) while she reigned over the Egyptian peoples. The trend traveled along the trade routes, spreading to Ancient Greece and the Roman Empire. 

Later, in medieval times, men and women in Eastern Europe put their own spin on the trend, cutting the bangs exactly one inch above their eyebrows to make what would later, incorrectly be called “French school-girl bangs” (yet another example of the French trying to take credit for all the cool things).    

In the 1600s bangs got a saucy reputation, becoming associated with a slide into sin when cut and curled on the foreheads of women. 

This calmed down by the conservative Victorian times, when almost every single woman wore the signature hairstyle parted in the middle and combed to either side of the forehead. While this is a unique way of rocking some fringe, there is a reason that particular bang trend didn’t make it out of Kate Chopin’s prime- it makes you look like a conehead. 

Thankfully, Alexandria, Princess of Wales, gave all her frizzy haired friends the chance to finally look hip with the introduction of her wiry bangs: short, chopped unevenly and curled and combed until they were practically vertical. 

As with all curly hair trends, it didn’t last long, and by the 1920s, flappers were rep’ing Cleopatra with their blunt, straight bangs that hit just above their false eyelashes (Thanks, Maybelline!). 

This trend weaved in and out of the rest of the decade, only briefly disappearing in the 1980s, an unfortunate decade of teased bangs a la Alexandria that turned the prettiest hair into a dried out, caked in mess.          

Then, enter “The Rachel.” Friends, the most popular TV show of the early nineties, showed women what side bangs and layers were- those face-framing strands that show that you have a forehead and aren’t afraid to show three quarters of it. 

When the show ended, the world had been taught the valuable lesson: there is a bang for everyone. Side, blunt, chopped, cropped- every girl could and should wear bangs once in her life. 

This was most likely Michelle Obama’s thought process when she chose to debut her bangin’ bangs a few days before the inauguration of the one and only President Obama. Online magazines and blogs were abuzz with the First Lady’s fringe, speculating that it might be a youthful nod to her recent 49th birthday. 

I was looking for the opposite effect, hoping that the bangs I sported as a kindergartener were not the same ones I would sport coming out of the salon. Due to the expertise of my stylist and advancements in hair cutting technology, I was confident that that I wouldn’t end up looking like five year old getting ready for her pre-school photo this time around. 

Now that both Michelle and I have settled into our styles, I can see that I was right; bangs are awesome, and they are great if you haven’t plucked your eyebrows in a while, have a zit on your forehead, or have a premature wrinkle on your forehead that won’t go away no matter how much anti-wrinkle cream you use.  

College is a time for experimentation, of sexuality, of food, of friends, and most importantly, of hair. The next time you are standing in front of the mirror wondering if you should add some streaks or buzz it off, consider bangs. If they’re good enough for Michelle Obama, they’re surely good enough for you.

Eating Like A Caveman: No Loincloth Required

Emily Keyes
Sports Editor

A dinner party;
attending one means you have reached it, the pinnacle of your life:

Adulthood. Read more of this post

No Lonely Valentines Here

Emily Keyes
Sports Editor

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I am forced to once again evaluate my romantic choices.

As is the case with most college students, there have been some wrong decisions; as the fairytales say, I have kissed many frogs but unlike those tails, I have found no princes. Read more of this post


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