I had quite a fair share of freaking out moments while home for Winter Break: freaking out about school, freaking out about life after school, freaking out about split ends in my hair, freaking out about finding those split ends while at school, and even occasionally, freaking out about freaking out. Maybe it’s because I’m graduating from college in less than five months. Or maybe because Winter Break was the most time I’ve spent at home in a long, long time. Or maybe because access to Nutella and peanut butter was at an all-time low. But in any case, right in the middle of this, my mom presented me with an ultimatum: “Clean your room or you can’t use the car.” And because you can’t live in suburbia without a car, and because you can’t go calm your nerves at happy hour in suburbia without a car, I responded with a growl and stomped up to my room.
For the next three hours, I sorted through the heaps of clothes on the floor that had become my temporary laundry basket, the drawers full of “treasures” that consisted of ticket stubs and empty wine bottles, the half-finished art projects that lay scattered across my desk. Left and right, I was tossing and stuffing tchotchkes into trashbags and liquor boxes. With Beyonce blasting through my laptop speakers, I worked my way through years and years of accumulated junk without a pause until I came across a time capsule of sorts: an essay titled “My Future: Dreams, Wishes, and Goals By Kathryn Walker.” May 25, 2004.
10 years ago.
An artifact from my brace-face years.
Here are some of the highlights of the Dreams, Wishes, and Goals of my 12 year-old self:
1. The one that made me actually laugh-out-loud: Triple major in English, Asian studies, and Forensic Science.
2. The ones that have actually come true: To travel the world and go to France and the United Kingdom; get a tan without burning myself.
3. The one that made me roll my eyes back into my head: Maybe be valedictorian??????????
4. The one that is too strange to comprehend: Develop a Bostonian accent.
5. The one that made me feel like I was having a conversation with my 12-year old self: Retire to a tropical place that has really good food (beach included).
6. The ones that are ironic and comical and have very slim odds of ever happening: That all the Philadelphia sports teams win national championships and that I go to all the parades.
7. The ones that made me fairly impressed with my past aspirations: Create a way to help people NOT pollute the environment.
8. The ones that are basically impossible now: Get an endorsement deal with Nike as a star of the US Women’s National Soccer team.
9. The ones that I’m still chasing after: To travel the world – All of Asia, Russia, Spain, South Africa; learn how to surf.
10. The one that only my 12 year-old self would have ever thought possible: Eat all the good food in the world while being a world renowned author, first Lady President, and a resident of Maine.
And then the conclusion: What will happen if they don’t come true?
Well Future Self, if they’re not coming true, you better get a move on.
It’s funny to see how all along food, travel, and adventure have fascinated me. A sign perhaps, for future Post-Goucher Endeavors? Maybe, who knows. But in any case, here’s to not freaking out anymore, baking roughly five million cookies, graduating college with pizazz and gusto, and then taking some advice from my 12 year-old self: learn how to surf (and maybe learn a lot more along the way).